Definition of Bully – A blustering, quarrelsome, overbearing person who habitually badgers and intimidates smaller or weaker people (from Dictionary.com)
Definition of Bullying –
a form of aggresive behavior manifested by the use of force or coercion to affect others, particularly when the behavior habitual and involves an imbalance of power (from Wikipedia.com)
Bullying can come in the form of physical, verbal or emotional abuse.
While some shake off the chains of bruised esteem and physical hurt – strengthened in their determination to make their mark in life so that they wouldn’t be subjected to such behavior again, many on the other hand, don’t.
And for that don’t, they continue to live in their darkness, some who were already very introverted become even more withdrawn, some never really recover in their self-esteem and how they see themselves – a worthless prick.
Being a victim myself, here is my story. It all started in primary two back in school (or 2nd grade in middle school for all my American counterparts) when my form teacher, Ms June Lim (funny how names of people who made a deep impact in one’s life both good and bad stays in one’s head) gave the first roll-call down the nominal roll. Students were to stand up from their seats and walk to the front to sign the attendance form. When I stood up and walk to the front, my teacher flippantly made a remark, “You walked like a jellyfish!”
That was when Nightmare-On-Elm-Street began for me. From primary two, my name became synonymous with jellyfish. Picked on, it intensified as we grew older and even progress on to the secondary school (or high school) under the same family. The abuses took on a violent persona as physical bullying tagged along the emotional and verbal.
One time, I was whacked up by three classmates, two being rugby players. Though they were punished, the damage they dealt on me never left; were more than skin deep, it left scars in the depths of my heart.
All this caused me to sink to a deep dark abyss and I became a rather withdrawn, sad person haunted by a low self-esteem and self-worth. It was only after I came to church where I was gloriously saved that I was set free from this darkness, and my self-esteem restored to a healthy level as I learn to place my self-esteem and self-worth on my God who love me more than anything else on earth, thank God for that.
“Humor is good, and I champion good humor. But if you’re asking me why I’m upset when you derive your humor from making personal attacks, then something is not wrong with me (not being able to take your joke), something is wrong with you (for joking about one’s physicality in the first place).”
Physical abuse may hurt the victim, but verbal and emotional abuse deals a much deeper damage that can ripple into the future of the victim’s life.
Imagine we are parents ourselves. How can we tolerate our child being mocked at because they walk, speak, act, respond, behave different?
Have we ever thought that such actions can be so life-changing, it can cripple the victim from living out his destiny and chasing his dreams?
Have we ever considered that these actions can cause the victim to look at himself in the mirror in disgust every morning, and be in that state for good?
Having been a victim of bullying myself, I understand the pain and anguish of being battered and bruised in one’s feelings.
And I say enough is enough. Its high time to shed some light and truth to such abominable behavior. Its time we make a stand against in-school and workplace bullying.
Please note that the whole objective of this entry is never to condemn the bully, no nothing of that. The sole purpose of this entry is to let such individual understand that the cause of his/her actions lead to a deeper effect in the victims life way larger than he can ever imagine.
If you’re a victim of bullying(emotional/verbal/physical) like me, do feel free to share your story with the other readers here under the comments section. Your story can help someone out there who is going through similar predicaments.
If this entry has helped you in one way or another, do share it with your family and friends too.