When I stopped to catch my breath, You came to catch me into Your embrace instead. Awestruck.
The past few days has been one of the most stressful days in SOT for me. Apart from reading and writing book reviews of the three SOT books and completing bible reading for the month of May, I was also tasked to take upon two urgent and important CN articles at the end of the month with the deadlines falling around the same time as the SOT assignments and bible reading! Time was clearly not on my side and I was tired. Just last Saturday alone, I traveled to the East (Expo) to attend a conference, cabbed down to JW for service, served at altar call, conduct a hour-long interview before heading back to coordinating stuff for CN and altar call ministry. And it all took place within the same day!
Being naturally and carnally minded as we all are (admit it!), I am actually quite a ‘worrier’ and pessimistic by nature (surprise surprise). So when put under pressure, I tend to worry a lil, and inflict unnecessary pressure on myself. I am indeed very privileged to work amongst and alongside the key leaders and staff in church. I used to always think, these people are really ‘zai’ (slang for great capacity for my non-Singaporean friends). Yet, after getting to know them better, I come to realize, we are all really just human. Not that I never knew that of course, but in a sense that we are all not so different afterall. We all have our daily struggles; be it in work, family, relationships, etc.
What really makes the difference is that we have the BUT GOD factor, we have God on our side. We by our own natural efforts and strength, by our own (absolutely) limited thinking would at most be able to pull off a certain (far from the maximum) measure of success. But when God comes into the picture, the limits to success is endless, the possibilities endless, and the sky’s the limit! To pull myself out of negativity, everyday whenever I am feeling discouraged, I would take out my earphones, turn on my ipod and listen to C3 Praise music. I would put ‘But God’, ‘Help Me’, ‘Here We Go’, ‘My Best Life’, ‘Take A Hold Of Me’ and ‘Undivided’ on replay and keep listening to them, until I really believe the lyrics of the song. And of course, not to mention pray!
All of a sudden, the TTDL (Things To Do List) seems less hectic and I felt God telling me through the songs that He will see me through. True enough, everything went according to plan and I was able to complete the two book reviews on time, caught up 50+/- bible chapters and meet the deadlines for the CN articles! Chief Ed even praised me for improving substantially in my writing… I was like “Nooooooo wayyyyyyyy…! You gotta be kidding me! I am writing that article at one of the most stressful periods of my whole writing career!”
Indeed it is not by power nor by might, but its by the Spirit of God. I know that it wasn’t really ‘me’ who have the ability to do all that. I am just but a human, fleshy and fragile. But it was really God working through me. All the Glory belongs to God and God alone. And because of this, I am Awestruck. God, You’re simply amazing.